How to be Your Own Best Friend

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The source of happiness is within us. We are accountable only to ourselves for what happens to us in our lives. We are responsible for our own good time. To feel all that you can feel is to be truly human. Decide to lift yourself up, be for yourself. Look into yourself to see what you are doing wrong, how you are pulling yourself down…then do the things that give you pride and pleasure. Give yourself recognition, compliment yourself, appreciate yourself, have compassion for yourself. Meet your own expectations. Establish priorities. Be self-centered enough to care for yourself and take care of yourself. Love is an affirmation of the living, growing being in all of us.

You are free when you accept the responsibility of your choices and those choices are in your own best interests. Encourage yourself, try positive hypnosis. Learn to work with yourself, to use will power on the side of yourself. Use everything you have got – feelings, intuition, intelligence, will power. Let go of old grievances; do not carry a sense of helplessness and need to placate others into adulthood. You are your own person now. You often need aloneness to grow, to get to know yourself and develop your powers. Have the courage to let go of childhood fantasies of safety and security. Take possession of your own security. We only have time so be concerned with what you do with it.

Be kind to the child within you. Forgive that child when it misbehaves. Growing up basically should be a reaching out to new ways of handling experiences. Genuine growth means having the courage and confidence to try new things and, in the process, to let go of old ones. Going ahead means taking chances, trying things you have never tried. Pay attention to the connection between what you do and how you feel. Sit yourself down and demand some answers (e.g. why do you go on being unkind and unfriendly to yourself?)

True intimacy is possible only between equals, between adults…that is when the fun really begins. When you stop trying to get from people what they cannot give you, you can begin to enjoy what they can offer. Adult love does not diminish the lover, it enhances us, makes us more. If an adult loses his or her lover, he or she still has his or herself.

Learn to listen to yourself and encourage yourself to speak up. Miracles happen to people who are ready for them. Perfection is not for human beings. Don’t judge yourself, accept yourself and move on from there. Acting out your own true feelings does take work. Only when you are really in charge of yourself can you afford to let go, to be spontaneous and expect good to come of it. Only mature people have the self-possession to abandon themselves (in sex) and know that they will emerge intact.

Learn to talk to yourself…you need to explain things, to reassure yourself. You have the power to stop yourself. Don’t glorify your lapses; try to understand why they happened and steer yourself back on the right track. You can give yourself all the loving help you would give a living child. Get to know the child within and get the feel for when to put on pressure, to offer comfort, to leave him or her alone, when to be easy, when to make demands. Embrace the child in you, make friends with yourself. Liberate yourself from your fantasies and learn where your real resources lie. Learn to be your own best friend, to bring yourself up, give yourself comfort and sustenance. You are your best source of encouragement and good advice. Listen and love. Be your own best friend.

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